


Inner Voices

by Kaz3313



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Blood, Cutting, One shot?, sucide attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 11:10:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16763986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaz3313/pseuds/Kaz3313
Summary: Dilligence is getting bombarded by his worries and decides to listen to his inner demons. Most likely a one shot and open to constructive criticism.





	Inner Voices

**Author's Note:**

> based on Dorklyevil’s (tumblr username) Dilligence And Sloth 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING ATTEMPTED SUCIDE  
> (If anyone would like me to add more/different tags please tell me, i don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable)

Rap Rap Rap

Diligence’s fingers tap against the cafe’s table in an attempt to keep his mind off the troubling thoughts. Thoughts of time or the crowds around him or… his recent dreadful mistake.

Rap Rap Rap

But it wasn’t helping, his mind still swirls in the whirlwind of uncertainty. His eyes are still glued to the clock that he hopes is going too fast. Minute after minute passing bringing him closer to tears.

Tick rap Tick rap

Though when Diligence tries not to focus on the clock he feels everyone else’s gaze. Was he being a bother? Were his fingers too loud? He couldn’t tell, his heart pounding was loud enough to muffle most other sounds.

Thud rap Thud tick Thud rap Thud tick

Worse though, worse than hearts, clocks, eyes, and fingers combined, is the silent scolding voice. The voice wasn’t loud, didn’t utter a sound to anything other then him, but was unbearable. Every time it spoke, with such certainty like always, Diligence feels on the verge of tears. He had to get away from the public eye ; he just wants to be alone...

“Worthless” thud “Pathetic” rap “Mistake” thud “Unlovable” tick 

Misty eyed, somber, trembling, and a void in his stomach, Diligence saw it. A private ‘paradise’ where no one would see him. He wouldn’t worry, disgust, or bother anyone. He climbs out of his booth and stood. He looks down wishing he wasn’t so loud, he must’ve been interrupting everyone’s lunch. At least it would be the last thing he interrupts.

“Just” thud “Give” tick “Up” thud.

“He” tick “Didn’t” thud “Even” tick “Come”

The voice is correct… Diligence begins to make his way down to the restroom away from the crowd and the clock. He can no longer hear the clock’s rhythmic tic nor can he see how many minutes late his friend is but that doesn’t matter. A shiver creeps up his aching spine as he realizes in a few minutes nothing would matter to him.

“No” thud “One” thud “Cares”

His entire body quivers as he turns the knob of the bathroom. It’s a single stall so he can lock it easily, that’s a plus. Diligence has tried this once before but someone had walked in before he could finish the job. By the time the other man had left  
Diligence talked himself out of it. 

“Never truly convinced yourself though,” 

The voice whispers as Diligence takes out the pocket knife he always carries. He has told himself over and over he only had it for protection but that was always a lie. He needs to stop lying to himself.

“Don’t draw it out; no hesitation,”

But who wouldn’t be hesitant? He was leaving everyone he cared about...he’d never get to see them again. Diligence shook his head of doubt;no time for that again. Raising the knife, readying the strike to end it all, he felt a pang of regret…

“Strike” thud 

So he followed his inner demons instruction but it wasn’t a fatal blow. It was just a slash on the underside of his arm. 

“Slit” Thud “them”Thud

Diligence tears and blood flow in the same motion, one down his face the other down his arm. At least his tears only left a bitter aftertaste and not a incessant sting.

THUD“faster” THUD

This is it, the final blow. A slit to the throat would be a certain death.Diligence takes a final look around at his last surroundings, realizing how pathetic it really was. A dirty toilet to his right, an overfilled trash can, a rusted sink, and a trembling bloody tired man to complete the somber scene. He raises the knife to his chin pressing the cold metal on his neck; the blood the knife is coated with dripping on the floor...

“Ey, Dilly, you in here?” He was here. Sloth came for lunch. He didn’t skip it.

“S-sloth?” Diligence tries to sound his usual self but his voice cracks terribly.

“Yep, sorry I was late. I would’ve walked but it’s a few blocks and I’m not one for walkin’ so Wrath drove me,”

“I-I’ll be right out, Sloth,” Diligence says already shutting his weapon and shoving it in his pants pocket. Not the best idea since there's blood on it but he does the laundry anyway…  
Shit  
Diligence arms are soaked in blood,his blood no less,and he quickly grabs paper towels and dampens them.

THUD THUD

He thought he’d calm down but every second that passes just add on to his building anxiety. What if his friend, who knew he was in there, tries to open the door? Of course he couldn’t get in but…

“You forgot to lock the door, you moron. And because your friend is waiting outside you can’t just slit your throat...oh wait if you hurry you can”

THUD THUD

No,no, Diligence tells himself drowning out the voice with logic and tasks. Just wash the blood from your arms just keep at it. Don’t stop till your arms are clean.

Thud Thud

Your fine

Thud thud

Everything is going to be okay

thud thud

“So...did you fall in the toilet? heh,” Sloth asks.  
He didn’t mean anything by it; quite frankly Sloth just was trying to lighten the mood (he after all did here the distress in his friend’s voice;Sloth wasn’t that oblivious) but Dilligence feels his heart, yet again, pound throughout his body. His irrational and illogical thoughts flood him yet again. He was running out of time.

“He’ll find out,”

Thud Thud

“And then he’ll worry,”

THUD Thud

“Your friends then will know,”

THUD THUD

“You should just-“

“Anyway bud I’ll find a table; have fun taking your shit,”

Diligence closes his eyes and takes a long breath. His friend was waiting; he couldn’t just leave him...yet

It took Diligence ten minutes to make-shift patch himself up using paper towels, tissues, tape (he kept some in his front pocket that also held his pen and usually his knife)and toilet paper. The first layer did nil his blood seeped through easily so he continued wrapping. The second, though held tightly, is stained a dark red and some blood still manages to drip through. Third layer had a pink tinge to it so he added a fourth layer. Then he repeats the process on the other arm.  
Perfect, except for his dizziness, the blood that covers the restroom floor, and his throbbing arm…

“So didya order anything?” Sloth asks, his eyes are closed but he can hear his buddy scootch into the booth across from him.

“A-a coffee and bowl of chili but it hasn’t come out yet...how did you find my seat?” Dilligence’s voice wavers and is so...quiet.

“Saw your bag,” Sloth opens his eye and-! Diligence arms are bandaged...no not bandaged that’s toilet paper...and blood is still seeping through. Sloth hides his sudden surprise which is relatively easy when Diligence eyes are lowered to the floor. “Since were in the questiony mood uh,” He pauses but his friend doesn’t meet his eyes. “What’s with your arms? Got in a car crash? Heh...but seriously you okay?”

“Just another accident at work nothing-“ Diligence begins but his friend interrupts.

“Don’t start this with bullshit. Your seriously injured if it was at work it wouldn’t be taped, what happened for real?” Maybe he said things too harshly- no he did say things too harshly- but that wasn’t the point. This was happening more and more frequently, so either someone was doing this regularly to him or...he was...  
Minutes pass and theirs just a deafening silence between the two. 

“Dili… was it...it was on purpose,” It was no longer a question; and from how Diligence was responding it was a fact as well.

“I-I- god it hurts- sorry I-,” Diligence can’t hold it back, he begins to sob. Not just some tears running down his face;A real kind of sob. The kind that seizes your entire body, where you choke and sputter cause you can hardly suck in enough air. It’s so loud; louder then any alarm and people try to ignore it looking away or talking about trivial things to whomever they are with.And the sobbing is ugly, where your eyes are puffy, your nose dripping with snot, and your cheeks are red and burning. That’s exactly how it looks . Dilligence is doing everything he wanted to keep away from.

“S-so pathetic- I-I’m s-s-sorry I-“ Diligence blubs but feels a arm around his shoulder.

“It’s okay, here I am right next to you. Everything will be okay . I’ll...I’ll help you,” Sloth lets him sob on his shirt,not like the tattered old stained shirt hadn’t been through many a sob, and glares at any Rick giving a snarky glance. 

“I...p-please don’t tell the...o-others. I didn’t w-want anyone to worry and-“

“...I won’t tell...”


End file.
